Ambition – a cuss word for women

‘Oh, Kiran’s mom is such an ambitious lady. She has gone out of town to set up an exhibition of her products during her daughter’s exams”, complained my mom-in-law who is a private tutor to the eight year old Kiran. I do not agree with her at all but do not express my disagreement in so many words at the moment to avoid an unnecessary confrontation. What is wrong in that I think to myself, especially when Kiran has a stay-at-home dad (well almost, he is a bhajan singer). What pinched me personally was the use of the word “ambitious” for Kiran’s mom. It sounded like such a negative attribute.

Why is it a bad thing for a woman to be ambitious, especially in our Indian context (although we can see several shades of such bias globally)? I have an equal or even better qualification than the man of the house and have worked hard to reach wherever I am in terms of my career. Why is it then me and not the man of the house who is expected to leave my flourishing career to take care of the house or the kids? If someone’s not well in the family, it is expected that I will take a leave. If there is a puja/function at home, it is expected that I go to the office an hour (or two) later. I am the one who is expected to toil in the kitchen before and after work and I am the one who is responsible to keep the house in order.

My maasi is a case in point – she got into a government bank job at the age of 23. She was inducted as a clerk. She died at the age of 60, still a clerk. She rejected numerous promotion opportunities during her forty decade career because each of them required her to take a transfer. Before marriage she had the responsibility of her mother, then her husband, house and finally kids. Ambition surely didn’t figure even distantly in her life.

How am I supposed to maintain my competitive edge at the workplace when there are a bucket full of biased responsibilities and expectations waiting for me at home? The writing is on the wall - If you are married woman (even worse if you have a kid), you can’t be ambitious. It is unacceptable for a woman with a family to have ambitions of her own. The only way left out for a woman in such a situation is to develop the super powers to manage it all (both at home and work) and excel at everything. I am a work in progress in this direction. Are you?

5 Reasons You Shouldn’t Inherit College Education from your Parents

Right from the time a child is born, parents start worrying about their education. More often than not these worries are laced with desires to carry on the family legacy of studying in a particular college. However, in today's time of choice both parents and children should be increasingly more conscious about the available options before choosing. Are you about to start college and are being pressured by your parents to choose a college of their era and their choice? Or are they insisting on you getting into the college that they studied at? Read on to know why you should stop right now and rethink.

1. Old may not be gold - The college that your dad went to used to be the best at its time. Agreed. However, yesterday's best may not be enough for today. With increasing private investment in education there are so many more institutes that have come up which are offering world class facilities.

2. Courses on offer - Unlike dad or mom, children today don't aim to be just doctors and engineers. Colleges from yester years catered to the aspirations of the youth back then. However, aspirations have evolved today to include off beat career choices and dad's college is unlikely to offer you that.

3. International exposure - Internet has made the world a very small place. Which means that today's youth needs to be prepared for the world and that is only possible if you get to mingle with the world. Colleges today like Lovely Professional University provide first hand exposure as students from different countries and cultures form part of the campus. This surely isn't something you'll find in dad's college.

4. Extracurricular Activities - World class facilities to encourage sports among the students are being stressed upon in new private universities unlike your mom's college from the 80's. And you'll agree all work and no play makes Jack a very dull boy.

5. Campus - College is where life's best memories are made and it makes for real colorful memories if the backdrop is beautiful. It's an added advantage if the college that you choose has a green, beautiful and modern campus. Hence, #thinkBig and make a wise choice while picking on a college for your future.