Travelling with my baby (1 month to 1 year old)

I am a mother to a 1.5 year old boy. He is a hyperactive kid and the apple of my eye. I love travelling and I love travelling with him. I have been travelling with my baby (trains, flights and road trips) since he was 1.5 month old and honestly, it has always been a lot of fun. However, a lot of new mothers think otherwise and find it a hassle to travel with infants or toddlers. This is my attempt to share some experiences and tips with young mothers and encourage them to travel with their little ones.

6 month old Vidar on board train from Kolkata to New Jalpaiguri 

Travel tips for infants below 6 months

This is the most convenient time to travel with your baby as he/she will have very minimal activity and needs. Basically, it’s eat, poop, sleep and repeat. My baby was exclusively on breastmilk till 6 months so it was minimal equipment that I had to carry along – just the nappies and wipes.

6 month old Vidar enjoying toy train ride in Darjeeling

Train –

• Always choose a side lower seat as you get maximum headroom when you need to sit up during the middle of the night to feed the baby.
• Carry your own sheets and blankets, both for yourself (as you share the seat with the baby) and the baby.
• Try to keep the baby fully covered, especially during the night. Choose a full sleeves onesie, preferably the ones that cover the feet (else have socks). Also carry gloves and cap to cover the hands and years. This is important to protect the baby against the chill in the train compartment and the mosquitoes.

Flight –

• Feed the baby while takeoff and landing to avoid any ear trouble with pressure changes.
• A window seat with maximum possible legroom will be most preferable.
• Keep the baby fully covered during the flight to protect him/her against the chill.

I did 2 train trips (12 hour each) and a road trip (6 hours to and fro) with my 1.5 month old and he mostly slept through most of it.

Fun fact – (this is no secret though) Kids get really sleepy and sleep very well while in moving vehicles. Hurray!

Travel tips for infants older than 6 months (and less than a year)

This is a slightly more challenging phase as the baby now starts eating other things apart from breastmilk (although it still remains the main source of nutrition). Also, his activities increase. However, it is still fun to travel with them as babies this age can be easily distracted and kept engaged in one place. A few rattles and some funny faces generally suffice to keep the baby amused.

8 month old Vidar en-route Delhi in Duranto Train (the train was late)

Train –

•         The side lower seat will still be preferable owing to maximum headroom.
•         Baby still needs to be fully covered while sleeping (she may reject the cap though)
•         Sheets and blankets for the baby need to be carried.
•         Carry a few of his favorite toys (rattles or stuff toys) to keep him engaged.
•         Carry hot boiled water in a thermos flask.
•         Baby food (like Cerelac) should also be carried for emergencies. I say this because I am a big advocate of giving all natural home food to babies. I gave soft fruits (banana, custard apple or chikoo) or boiled veggies (like potato or tomato) and used baby food only in emergencies.

Flight –

•         Keep the baby covered
•         Feed him while takeoff and landing.
•         Try to put baby to sleep as soon as you settle down and he should easily sleep through the journey.

6 month old Vidar enjoying a truck ride at Betnoti (Orissa)

Road –

•         Sit in the back seat with the baby. ALWAYS. (no front seats please – they are too dangerous)
•         Prefer the middle seat as then baby can sit high up on your lap and clearly see the road ahead.
•         Show him the wonderful things passing by and that should keep him engaged for a long while.

Babies get restless when they cannot see outside the car. I personally prefer the middle seat on top of my lap (baby can clearly see through the dashboard) over the side window view. I keep talking to him while pointing him things like cars and trees and animals outside and that keeps him occupied.

We travelled to Puri and Bhubaneshwar (to and fro in train from Kolkata) when my baby was 6 months old, to Darjeeling and Kalimpong (train and road from Kolkata) when he was 7 months old, road trip from Kolkata to Betnoti (Orissa) at 7 months old, Delhi (train and flight from Kolkata) at 8 months old and Pune (to and fro in flight – just me and the baby, first solo trip with the baby) at 11 months old. More about these trips and experiences in the next posts.

Ambition – a cuss word for women

‘Oh, Kiran’s mom is such an ambitious lady. She has gone out of town to set up an exhibition of her products during her daughter’s exams”, complained my mom-in-law who is a private tutor to the eight year old Kiran. I do not agree with her at all but do not express my disagreement in so many words at the moment to avoid an unnecessary confrontation. What is wrong in that I think to myself, especially when Kiran has a stay-at-home dad (well almost, he is a bhajan singer). What pinched me personally was the use of the word “ambitious” for Kiran’s mom. It sounded like such a negative attribute.

Why is it a bad thing for a woman to be ambitious, especially in our Indian context (although we can see several shades of such bias globally)? I have an equal or even better qualification than the man of the house and have worked hard to reach wherever I am in terms of my career. Why is it then me and not the man of the house who is expected to leave my flourishing career to take care of the house or the kids? If someone’s not well in the family, it is expected that I will take a leave. If there is a puja/function at home, it is expected that I go to the office an hour (or two) later. I am the one who is expected to toil in the kitchen before and after work and I am the one who is responsible to keep the house in order.

My maasi is a case in point – she got into a government bank job at the age of 23. She was inducted as a clerk. She died at the age of 60, still a clerk. She rejected numerous promotion opportunities during her forty decade career because each of them required her to take a transfer. Before marriage she had the responsibility of her mother, then her husband, house and finally kids. Ambition surely didn’t figure even distantly in her life.

How am I supposed to maintain my competitive edge at the workplace when there are a bucket full of biased responsibilities and expectations waiting for me at home? The writing is on the wall - If you are married woman (even worse if you have a kid), you can’t be ambitious. It is unacceptable for a woman with a family to have ambitions of her own. The only way left out for a woman in such a situation is to develop the super powers to manage it all (both at home and work) and excel at everything. I am a work in progress in this direction. Are you?

5 Reasons You Shouldn’t Inherit College Education from your Parents

Right from the time a child is born, parents start worrying about their education. More often than not these worries are laced with desires to carry on the family legacy of studying in a particular college. However, in today's time of choice both parents and children should be increasingly more conscious about the available options before choosing. Are you about to start college and are being pressured by your parents to choose a college of their era and their choice? Or are they insisting on you getting into the college that they studied at? Read on to know why you should stop right now and rethink.

1. Old may not be gold - The college that your dad went to used to be the best at its time. Agreed. However, yesterday's best may not be enough for today. With increasing private investment in education there are so many more institutes that have come up which are offering world class facilities.

2. Courses on offer - Unlike dad or mom, children today don't aim to be just doctors and engineers. Colleges from yester years catered to the aspirations of the youth back then. However, aspirations have evolved today to include off beat career choices and dad's college is unlikely to offer you that.

3. International exposure - Internet has made the world a very small place. Which means that today's youth needs to be prepared for the world and that is only possible if you get to mingle with the world. Colleges today like Lovely Professional University provide first hand exposure as students from different countries and cultures form part of the campus. This surely isn't something you'll find in dad's college.

4. Extracurricular Activities - World class facilities to encourage sports among the students are being stressed upon in new private universities unlike your mom's college from the 80's. And you'll agree all work and no play makes Jack a very dull boy.

5. Campus - College is where life's best memories are made and it makes for real colorful memories if the backdrop is beautiful. It's an added advantage if the college that you choose has a green, beautiful and modern campus. Hence, #thinkBig and make a wise choice while picking on a college for your future.

About friendships and hugs

I am sure almost all of us cried on our first day of school. That feeling of being snatched away from your mom, your first friend in this unknown world, must have brought hysteric tears to your eyes. Then slowly tears gave way to a big smile in the ensuing days – all thanks to the tiny hands of a friend who held yours and together you were able to make that bond called friendship. These most special bonds become a source of myriad of experiences over the years making us smile, laugh, cry, shout, celebrate and get into trouble all the time. Some friendships last an hour, some a few months or maybe a few years and some last a lifetime. Recently, I got back in touch with one of my first real friend (we studied together in class 1 and 2) after 22 long years all thanks to a common friend and of course Facebook and Whatsapp. Two people who met briefly right at the beginning of their journeys, remembered each other through the thick and thin of life. I plan to visit her soon in Switzerland and have loads of fun - something that we missed out on all these years. But yes, we will remember to celebrate responsibly. Wink!

I would like to share a small story from my school life. A story that reflects that fire makes the gold shine brighter or tough times make friendships stronger. Sample this - we were 2 friends in class 8 (well within our teens and senses), convent school in a small town. Both of us enjoyed our time together in class, lunch and play. Neither of us were into big school gang etc. Then came a third friend in the picture. We started off as common friends but slowly the friendship between my friend and this third friend started to become stronger and jealousy started to creep into me. One fine morning I went to my 2 friends and said something nasty. The third friend pushed me hard (so much so that I fell down on the playground). Anger rose in me and I scratched the face of my friend (some blood could be seen). I was angry that how did she let the third girl hit me and didn’t do anything about it. I also saw a slight smile on her face when I fell. Before either three of us could get the sense of what had just happened, another girl from our class saw me scratching and immediately complained to the teacher. What followed was a huge lecture and a forced patch-up attempt by the class teacher.

Obviously I was crest fallen and ashamed of myself by the end of the day. Kept thinking about what I had done and fearing that I have lost my one real friend forever. Then came the most difficult morning of my life – the morning after. I reached school reluctantly and saw my friend at the assembly. I couldn’t muster enough strength to go to her. The only thought in my mind was to run away. Then I saw her walking towards me. She came to me, hugged me tight and murmured a sorry. That’s it. It was enough to wipe away all the bitterness, anger and awkwardness. The slate was clear. The bond was stronger. Forever. Three years back, the two of them made it to my wedding, flying in from different parts of the country – my only two friends. Moral of the Story - share a hug. It’s the only thing needed in the most difficult emotional situations. It strengthens the yaari dosti of friends and makes them last a lifetime. 

P.S. This blog is intended for audience above the age of 25 years.